Day: October 3, 2004

Thanks to Gwen, I made a call to that awesome place in Sungai Besi and found out that it’s now operating all year round instead of twice (for a couple of months) a year. So off I went with mommy dearest for some shopping. Got myself a pair of pink lowrise and pink top. And yeah, I got my prom dress too, hehe. It’s nothing like what I wanted earlier but I like it, especially the details at the back. Mom will lend me her pearl jewelleries. Will attempt to pull off an Audrey Hepburn! Will I make it? Stay tuned….

Prom dress : Back

Prom dress : Front

Pink ensemble

And one more thing, while reversing my car I banged into Dad’s car. He doesn’t know yet. The right headlight is cracked and the bumper’s scratched (his car) while my rear bumper is slightly bruised *tsk*. I’m still gathering courage to tell him. I’m quite sure he’s going to go berserk. Don’t kill me Dad.

Just got back from a family together-gether outing. Watched Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Nice! Seeing Milla Jovovich in a fishnet top makes me want to hit the gym. Oh, by the way, I’ve fallen off the wagon. This is my final month in gym. Sigh. I’m hula hooping and getting a portable stepper soon. Maybe by the time I move, I would have saved enough moolah for a power stepper. Wish me luck.

I think mom is really going to sponsor my hairdo. Ehehehehehe. I’ve always been glad that I’m the only daughter and the eldest at that. I don’t have to share my clothes, toy, books, everything. And I’m hell glad that I wouldn’t need to worry about having a prettier sister who would steal my boyfriend and set me up with retarded dates out of guilt.

I suppose it’s nice to have a regular boyfriend. Yeah, you’ve guessed it. I’m feeling lonely. My friends are great and supportive, but you know it just isn’t the same. I’m in a very vague position now and I don’t like it, at all. I don’t want to waste my life pinning.

Some mornings I wake up feeling really empowered and I figure I’m just going to stop giving a fuck and be self-sufficient. Kick arse. No more emotional bullshit and all that. Other times (or most times), I just want someone to hug me, carress my face and whisper kind words into my ears while in return I’d iron all his clothes and cook gourmet meals for him.

I’ve always believed I’d make a fabulous girlfriend. I’m loving. I listen. I’m caring. I don’t nag. I’m not unattractive. I’m a good conversationalist. I don’t ask for money or credit cards. I don’t need to be dined and wined. I can mix with the boys. I’m not clingy. I believe in having your own space. I’m more game than the average girl. I like porns. I cook. I do housechores. I take care of myself. Heck I think I’m pretty good in bed too.

But why? Just why? That wasn’t an ego trip. I just can’t comprehend my situation. Women out there…bloody female gargoyles out there with black hearts and brains the size of peas are snagging males who are willing to kill for them.

I don’t need a man who would scour the sky for diamonds for me. All I need is a sincere hug, maybe even a kiss. Minus all the mind games.

I’ve vented. Ignore me. Loneliness will pass.