Hi everyone! Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I’m having a wonderful birthday in spite of the recent personal events. I really want to reply all of your SMS but as always I ran out of credits hehehe and I’m too stingy to upload any (doesn’t help matter I got summoned RM100 for naughty parking). Thanks all and I love you. Mwahs!!!!
I’ve just gotten back from work. Except for some seriously boring data-entry, I quite enjoy the experience. For example, I’m going to do some food tasting this Friday. Hehehehe. Just my kind of thing…
Situation at home is still rather tumultuous. Brother texted me (or rather, my Mom) to ask if I still wanted to go ahead with the party; I replied in the negative. I know better. It’s so her style, seducing you into becoming completely dependent on her and the next thing you know, you’re being viciously blackmailed. She does have sincere intention I suppose, but somehow she can’t help but being horrible in the midst of it all. I like to think of myself as a pretty strong person (normally unaffected by how other people treat me) but when it comes to my Mom, I turn into this hypersensitive crybaby. My best friend actually pointed out that eversince she knew me, whenever I was upset it was almost always because of Mom. I wanted so badly to object to that but found myself unable to. I love her deeply of course, and the last thing I want is to hurt her. But I love myself too, and I can’t subject myself to more emotional turmoil.
The legs on my banner have been dubbed lardy and pasty by this chick (check out her July archive). My first reaction was,”Wah, so bitchy meh?”. My second reaction was not much better….my self-confidence actually fluctuated a bit. I mean, look at her choice of words! Honestly, I do like how my legs look in the banner, which is the 1st reason I put it up. Different strokes for different folks ya? Some people like to fuck little boys and some salivate over meatier girls like me. Anyway, I hope she’s not getting cancer cause really….would you be surprised if she did?
She hates her. But she is just like her. And now I’m starting to hate her too. What is the point of wanting me to be here when she treats me like I’m not here? All I’m asking for is a wee bit of cooperation. And that is too hard for her. Fine. Lets call it off. I will not bring it up again.
When you have to resort to begging something from someone, it only means one thing: she doesn’t want you to have it. It’s hurting me, but if it makes her happy, so be it.