My Poon’s First O & G Visit

Gasp.

For the uninformed, O & G stands for obstetrician and gynaecologist. I’ve been putting off this incredibly important appointment for the longest time. Why? Lazy lor!

It took my Mom to set up an appointment for her (almost) 23 year old daughter. I was quite freaked out when Mom dropped the bomb over dinner. “Yeah, you’re going to see my gynae on xx May,”. Almost choked on my kailan. First thing that popped into my head, zomg my poonani! Second thing that popped into my head, the fact that the doctor, the male doctor, is going to see my Mom’s poon AND my poon. Damn wrong okay.

I experienced pangs of nervousness for a month prior to the appointment. I also don’t know why I was so nervous, guess knowing that you’re going to drop your pants to a complete stranger does that to you. Will he judge my poon? Will my poon be up for judgement?

Just before I was to honour my appointment, I shaved.

MY LEGS, what were you thinking?

I wore my best panties…black teddy with sequins on it. My crazy monkey cartoon panties will not see the light of day in the presence of strangers…

The look of a pre-gynae. I’m forever changed.

The clinic.

So I went there really early in the morning, like 7am. Mom’s bent on being the first in queue, she calculated that we would be finished by 9.30am. Mom went in first. And then it was my turn…

Mom’s and daughter’s shaved legs.

I insisted on Mom to accompany me (omg I’m such a baby, right?). I went in expecting to see a pair of shiny metal stirrups attached to a plush examination couch. There was none of those things. There’s only the doctor, his nurse and a flat, boring examination couch that has seen its better days. Wish I could take pictures, but I didn’t dare to ask my doctor. Maybe next time..

He interviewed me. When was my last period? Do I have discharge? How does the discharge look like? Am I sexually active? The usuals..

And then my most dreaded moment came. PAP SMEAR!!! Truth is, it doesn’t matter what panties you wear cause the doc wouldn’t care less. I took mine off and chuck it in a red plastic basket, prepared by the clinic for that purpose. Then I lied down on the examination couch, knees bent, spread eagle. Told Mom to stop peeping.

Doc chatted with me, probably in an attempt to relax me. He put some goo on my lower abdomen for ultrasound. He chatted to me some more, applied some lubricant to my poonani and then he stuck something in. Wriggled the thing a bit and pulled it out. The feeling couldn’t be any less pleasurable. I did really feel vaguely violated, definitely not looking forward to the next appointment.

After that I put on my clothes and chit chatted a bit with doc. Doc asked me, in front of my Mother, “Do you use protection?”. GREATTTTTTTTT!!!

“Yeah, always,”

“Sure or not?”. Then he proceeded to rummage through his drawer for something.

“Read this. Cover to cover”.

Read this. Cover to cover.

Thank you doc!

We got out of there at 9.30am sharp.

p/s: Girls, do get your poon checked, when you’ve reached 18 or is sexually active, whichever comes first… ;D