Author: Kimberly Low

Not an eulogy.

Yet a reply in sight. Jayna told me he probably has not received the sms. Hrmm, that could be a reason but what are the odds? I can’t cry anymore. My nose is so red it’s like I’ve snorted coke for years. LOL. Well, I’ve taken down all my pics cause in some weird way they upset me. Maybe my blog is grieving too, I don’t know. I’ll put them up again when I feel like it.

You know what, I never understood how some people could be so put off by relationships. Well, I do now. It’s quite scary really, to think of placing oneself in such a delicate position ever again. It’s great to love wholeheartedly but when you get hurt, you get hurt really bad. At they end of day, what you get is a bunch of cynical and jaded people.

The boldness and passion of a first love. The desire to make a person happy and the joy that you experience from an othewise trivial response. Sigh, I miss the naivety of it all.

Well, after this post, I’ll work on finishing my financial analysis. Then I’ll move on to give myself a kickass manicure/pedicure, facial and some good exfoliating. I’ll work on losing the 5 kilos that’s been bugging me. Time will heal and there will be no scar cause honestly, I have fabulous skin. LOL.

Cheers.

p/s: You guys have played a part in me not choosing the depressive route. Hugs. Thank you all. Rock on.

over?

I think it’s pretty much over. He can’t still be asleep now. There’s no reply yet. My feelings? Just numb. My eyes are dry.

Whose wrong is it? Mine? His? He wants me to be understanding and I’m doing just that for close to 6 months. Yes, there was one tumultuous month where I was being a psychobitch but I thought we worked that one out. He has broken four promises that he’d be back but I accepted all his excuses nevertheless. Because I think a man ought to concentrate on his work and I shouldn’t add to his burden. I wanted to be this man’s wife. I was willing to forgo my family, friends and youth for him. I only want happiness for him and I’m willing to go to lenghts for that. All I want from him is to be sincere and honest to me. But now, now it only takes an sms to wrap it all up.

What happened? I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. What just happened? Was it all a dream? Have I been dreaming for 1.5 years? It was all so real. I’ve never really felt belonged until I knew him. What did I do wrong? Why is he doing this to me?