Even after almost a decade together, I still find myself learning things about my better half.
The day we stop learning about each other is the day we stop caring and that would be the end of our marriage. Just the thought of it is both heartbreaking and inconceivable.
I guess that too would be the day I die.
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We had a huge fight recently and broached the subject of D. Before I continue, obviously we have sorted both our grievances out.
Anyway, after we made up, the hubs mentioned that he read something about men earning 17% more after divorce while women 11% less after divorce.
Then he smiled like a troll.
I told him if we ever split up, he better be earning 300% more to spite me because I’d land a stud that would put his net worth to shame.
He asked me how in hell would I be able to do that.
“Well, first I’d get fitter. Then I’d get a subtle nose job. Possibly growing my hair long again cause men love that sort of thing. A new wardrobe of course. All with the money I got from our hypothetical divorce and some extra aiding by my awesome personality.”
Have been hearing this question over and over again from completely different people eversince we got married. My default answer is, “good” or “same”.
I guess it’s a making small talk kinda question and people probably aren’t really that interested in finding out. Kind of like “How do you do?” but in a slightly more relevant context hence supposedly appropriate, not that I mind cause I ask small talk questions all the time regardless of real interest but sometimes I do find myself having to stop and think before I answer.
How is married life? Better and different.
Lets start with the “different” cause people like to take bad news first right?
I’ve been with Gareth for over over 7 years before we got married, and I was as giddy as giddy could be so I expected married life to be exactly the same as before perhaps better, only now there’s a paper that compel us to be committed to each other for FOREVER. Yeap, that’s how it feels like sometimes. FOREVER.
I call it my post-wedding jitters.
Mind you, I don’t get the jitters often…I still get crazy teenage giddy whenever I’m with my man. But it is when we fight that the fact we’re bound together till death do us part that hits me.
“WTF I am truly, really stuck with this man whose face I am thinking of ripping apart. What have I done!?????”.
I highly suspect it has something to do with my PMS where I get reduced into a raging mess of pessimism and self-pity (read: craycray.)
Is it just me or is anyone out there experiencing similar situations? Does this sound familiar to you married women?
As for the “better”, well it feels great to be married to my best friend who still grabs my ass when nobody’s looking after 8 years.
It is wonderful to know that someone who gets my jokes, who knows exactly what bitchy thought am thinking by me just raising an eyebrow, who puts up with my farts/burps and who despite my post-wedding jitters, sheer psychotic madness and serious disdain of house cleaning – is willingly stuck with me for FOREVER :)
How is married life?
I realise that married life is not a bed of roses, cause roses wilt and die, hello? Married life to me is like an earthquake/tsunami/hurricane proof house with a slide and a massive pool of multi-coloured plastic balls…cause that thing shakes and get dirty and stuff but it never breaks and you can have loads of fun in it.
Today marks our 7th anniversary. 2555 days after the faithful day that Gareth and I met for the first time at KL Sentral. It’s quite unbelievable to think that we’ve spent the past 7 years together because I still feel ridiculously in love every single day. I believe he feels the same way too la….
# – One of our earliest pictures together in 2004.
We talk to each other an awful lot, to the point sometimes I wonder whether it’s normal. I also believe that I’m not so good with female friends also because I don’t need one, since he’s like the female friend that I spill my heart & soul to. Thanks to him, I now worry about whether any female friend would throw me a hen’s party (*major hint to female friends).
# – At my college prom night in 2005.
I think the only time we don’t speak to each other is when either of us is working, watching TV and when we’re both asleep. Oh ya, whenever we’re fighting also. We do fight but every fight lasts for like 15 minutes before one of us would meekly tap one on the shoulder to ask, “Can we be friends?”. With one hand extended, of course.
# – On the way to some club in 2005.
If I were to pinpoint the moment I knew he’s The One for me, it must be that time when he drove to Singapore twice in a day for me. I had just quit my job in Singapore (which I did due to homesickness and missing him too much) and he was supposed to help me move my stuff into his car and bring me back to Malaysia for good.
The first time, he reached the immigration only to realise he had forgotten his passport. So he backed out of the one way lane, U-turned, drove all the way back to PJ, grabbed his passport, ate 3 curry puffs and sped all the way back to Singapore, again.
# – At his 30th birthday in 2008.
As for when he realised I’m the one for him? I would guess it’s something that’s too crude to be shared here but I shall refrain from over-sharing and let him have his say.
You know what they say about marrying the person you enjoy travelling with? Nah, nobody said that. I just made it up but honestly, I believe it’s true.
When you’re travelling, you often get thrown into circumstances that are out of the ordinary. So if a couple could handle these circumstances harmoniously, I guess you could handle anything together!
Gareth is my best travelling partner; we have the same pace, same energy level, same curiosity & same attitude. When we get conned, we laugh at ourselves. When we land on something good, we fist bump.
# – Our very first holiday together – Redang in 2005.
# – Back in Redang – 2011.
Well, I’m glad I’ll be marrying that someone. If you hadn’t guessed it by now, yes, Gareth proposed to me last month during our holiday in Koh Lipe. The truth was, I had given up on being proposed with bended knee because we had actually discussed marriage, set the ROM date and all already. I know, so practical right? Got handshake and all some more.
Anyway, who proposes after a marriage has been mutually agreed on, right?
Apparently, someone like my Gareth.
When I asked him why the hell did he do it knowing full well I’ll be marrying him anyway, he said he wanted me to have something sweet and romantic to remember. He may have done it in a non-conventional order, but he still surprised me good! :)
We were on holiday with our closest friends in Koh Lipe, Thailand. It was our final night on the island and we decided to conclude our vacation by getting drunk on the beach with duty-free booze that were craftily brought in from Langkawi.
# – Having a beer in Koh Lipe’s Pattaya Beach on 26 November 2011. No idea what’s going to happen when this picture was taken.
Even I was having a can of beer but everybody who knows me personally knows about my alcohol tolerance or lack thereof. So I was getting a little uhmm…embarrassing? Gareth was desperately trying to keep me awake by plying me with orange juice but I thought it was just so he wouldn’t need to drag me in the sand back to our chalet. Little did I know…
Here is the video of the proposal:
Thank you Horng for taking the video. Thank you Terence for taking the pictures. Thank you to my friends for being awesome – FA, Kerol, Zess, Yuki & Celine. Thanks to your guys I’ll have a precious memory to have and treasure.
# – Group pic!!!
It was the perfect proposal.
The beach, the friends, the ring. You. What more can I ask? :)
# – The sparkler.
# – I love you booby! We gonna have so much fun together <3
