Category: General Faux Pas

This sucks!

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate using the vacuum cleaner? It is clunky and heavy. It always get stuck behind a furniture or worse, turn turtle when you yank it a little too hard. The cable always get twisted into dozens of crazy knots. I fucking hate it.

But yet, having a head full off disloyal hair and a dog that sheds as much, the hoover is pertinent in keeping the damn house clean. So I use it albeit unwillingly.

Yesterday, for instance, I decided to whip out the hoover to clean the house. In the middle of cleaning, I was possessed by the Vacuum Cleaning Ghost (also known as Good Mood). So I started hoovering up chairs, tables, cabinets, aircon vents, anything and everything I came across.

Then I spotted my dusty keyboard, which by the way was disgustingly covered in food crumbs and whatnot. Naturally, I placed the mouth of the hammerhead shark looking thing onto my laptop keyboard. Man…the satisfaction of seeing all those filth being sucked up voraciously by the hoover.

I began to like my clunky, heavy vacuum cleaner. I even imagined the possibility of using it everyday! And then I heard a light pop. And then I looked down.

# – And then I saw this.

I freaked out. But of course, I had to tweet about it 1st then only deal with the situation. It was extremely important that everybody was informed that that I had sucked a key out of my filthy keyboard. In panic, I had thought I’d lost my CTRL key.

# – I intelligently laid 300watt of suction power over my keyboard.

What followed next was an experience I would really like to erase from my memory, forever.

Which is worse? Sticking your hand into a soiled toilet bowl to pick out something that wasn’t meant to be there or sticking your hand into a dirtbag that had been collecting dirt for the past 6 years to pick out something that wasn’t meant to be there?

Thankfully, I had just emptied the dirtbag minutes before the incident took place so it was fairly easy to maneuver my fingers in and around.

# – Yummy.

Atfer what seemed like an eternity, I managed to fish the damn key out. Turned out it’s an UP key that got sucked in.

# – I found UP.

Unfortunately I couldn’t stick it back into my keyboard :(

Vacuum cleaner sucks!

How to sing like Jacky Cheung.

I was teaching my boyfriend how to sing with a fake vibrato, so his voice would pulsate not unlike a professional singer. What is a vibrato? You know Jacky Cheung, the famous Hong Kong male singer? He has a very distinguishable vibrato voice.

So anyway, in order to sing with a vibrato, I told my boyfriend that while singing, he has to tilt his chin up and start moving his face from side to side.

Like as illustrated:

He thinks I’m bullshitting him. So he refuses to do it, but I swear it works!!!!

Stupid Friday.

Gahhhh what a bad day! Went for lunch with ST and Kerol at Seremban Favourites. Then in the middle of makan, ST’s tooth filling fell out -_-. So instead of going home, I took him to the dentist. Thing is, I don’t really like going to that particular dental clinic because the parking is horrendous. Lo and behold, a lorry was just coming out from a parking space as I approached.

So far so good right?

So I parallel parked and tried to park my car as near to the curb as possible since the road is narrow and all (I don’t want other cars to accidentally clip the side of my car). My parking was perfect, till I looked into my side mirror and there it was…

….a fucking pole making love to the side of my door.

# – This is what I saw in my side mirror.

I didn’t even feel it wtf!!!

I got down from my car, stilll feeling rather optimistic because I didn’t feel anything. And then the bf also exited from my car and at that very moment, in front of my very eyes, the entire car bounced ever so lightly towards the pole and touched. FML.

At this point, I was trying not to cry and got the bf to move the car away from the pole because I couldn’t bear the possibility of n00bing it and making the scratches worse.

(BTW WHO THE FUCK BUILD A POLE INSIDE A PARKING SPACE ANYWAY????)

After that, we went to the dental clinic, got the bf’s teeth done and returned to my car. We inspected the scratches again. He bent down to look closer at the door, while I stood behind him and extended my arm over his head to caress the scratches.

And very suddenly, my boyfriend back headbutted me in the fucking face.

# – Kinda like this.

It was so painful I couldn’t speak for 5 minutes after but at least I lived to tell this tale of a stupid Friday.

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