Category: Random Musing

Dedicated to Tom Cruise.

I know exactly how the girls that love Robert Pattinson feel because I felt exactly like that after I had watched Interview with the Vampire (which coincidentally got me to hate Brad Pitt for many, many years for being a wussy, rat blood drinking vampire. For the record, I don’t hate Brad Pitt anymore).

At 10 years old I was in love and wanted to be a vampire.

A couple of years later, I watched Jerry Maguire and I decided that I wanted to become Tom Cruise’s wife. Instead of hating Brad Pitt I chanelled all my energy into hating Nicole Kidman instead.

Also, around the same time, I had just gotten my first access to the world wide web so I was able to find a lot of information about Thomas Cruise Mapother IV (which explains why my old hotmail address is kimberly_mapother@hotmail.com).

It was also the time where I found out about Scientology. Even at that age I was trying to figure out how I could become Tom Cruise’s wife. The best chance for me was to either become an actress or become a Scientologist. I quickly realised that the latter was far more achievable. I signed up at a Scientology website for more information.

A few weeks later, I got a stack of documents sent to my house from a Church of Scientology. In the documents were information about Scientology, how to set up a church in Malaysia and how I could spread the wonderful teachings of L. Ron Hubbard. I was 12.

Luckily for you all, I was too lazy otherwise today I could have been a badass cult leader with Tom Cruise as my husband, of course.

# – I don’t own this one.

I admit, my affections have been divided through the years….Christian Bale in American Psycho, Alex Skarsgaard in True Blood.

Lets not forget my latest object of lust – Michael Fassbender in Shame. Why? Imagine a naked man standing with his back to you. Now, can you seen the end of his flacid fun sausage between his legs??? IMAGINE IT! CAN YOU!?

Because with Michael Fassbender, you can.

Sorry, I digressed.

I know in the past few years I have sort of denied liking Tom Cruise because of his OTT behaviour but deep down inside I still hold a torch for the man. And for heaven’s sake I have never even caught a glimpse of his naked butt!

Anyway I don’t know why I’m blogging this randomness, maybe because I feel a little sorry for Tom after reading about his impending divorce. I feel so bad for Tom I just want to hug him. If you’re reading this Tom Cruise, I want to hug you and stroke your hair. Still, always and forever.

# – Gareth made this for me some years ago <3



++++ADVERTORIAL BREAK+++++

I was at the National Zoo last Friday for the launch of Celcom First Voice plans, a range of superior voice plans that will let Celcom customers (such as myself!) step up to more innovative and advantageous services for an optimum customer experience.

Pretty good stuff, the plans have features such as real time calculation of charges, auto upgrade of lower rate when usage hits the next tier, smart menu and many more. Check out for yourself at Celcom’s website.

# – Launch of Celcom First Voice.

In conjunction with the launch, Celcom has adopted an elephant named Teriang, a 32-year-old Asian elephant that symbolically represents the new direction of Celcom First – power, loyalty, and a desire to always reach for the top.

# – Hi Teriang! Or “Accidentally Happy”, according to Celcom’s CEO, Dato’ Sri Shazalli Ramly.

The most awesome thing about the adoption of Teriang is that RM0.10 from every new customer of Celcom First’s voice plans will be contributed to a fund for Teriang’s upkeep. How nice :)

Three blog posts in one, yeah!

I’ve got a lot of things to blog about but was suffering from blogger’s block since coming back from Vietnam almost 2 weeks ago.

I suspect it was caused by my time there visiting communes affected by hunger. It was such an intense experience, it exhausted me both physically and mentally.

Of course there were a lot of wonderful moments during the trip, like when we visited a primary school. Amenities in the school were basic at best but the kids were happy and you could tell they were so pleased to even have the opportunity to be there, even at such tender age.

Many of their peers were probably helping their parents in dangerously located farms planting low yielding crops like cassava :(

# – Cute primary school children who were my “chicks” when we’re playing “Eagle Catches Chicken” game (I was mummy hen).

I think I was also a little terrified by the idea of writing about what I saw in Vietnam. I don’t think one blog post could ever do justice to the hunger situations there but I will try my best (later, when I sit on it a little longer).

+++++++

Attended the hubs‘ office party for the first time last weekend. It was Bollywood themed so I busted out the “Lehenga” I bought in Hyderabad. Finally, found an occasion to wear it. I was pleased…it’s got drawstring skirt so I could eat, loads, MUAHAHAHHAA.

# – Wearing lehenga for the first time.

Must say I rather sucked at keeping to the theme because I totally forgot about the long scarf and bangles. Luckily, bindi and bangles were given out free at the party. Yay!

# – Eventually got my bangles, bindi and masala lemonade on. Photobomber was Gareth’s colleague, Daniel.

I was also wearing makeup for the first time since my Lasik surgery. IT WAS GREAT!

# – Gareth trying to wear a bangle -____-. He was like, “eh all the bangles same sized one does it mean all women have similarly sized wrists?”.

+++++++

Have converted my old claims record booklet into an outlet of negativity. Basically, whenever I feel like ranting or saying something passive aggressive etc, instead of verbalising, tweeting or blogging it, I will just write it in the booklet.

# – My buku 666.

Someone asked me on Twitter if it was some sort of spiritual healing exercise. I guess so.

Recently, I’ve found myself getting increasingly impatient with tweets that are angry, negative, snide, self-absorbed, patronising, you know the drill.

I know everyone has the right to express their emotions/opinions but personally, these tweets put a downer to my day. Probably a lot more severe than anyone could believe.

So if you happened to realise I have unfollowed you on Twitter, it’s nothing personal. Feel free to unfollow me if it matters.

Stay happy!

Watch out, I might be a narcissistic, psychopatic, Machiavellian mind-reader.

I was reading this article called “Are Narcissists Better at Reading Minds?“. One of the most famous narcissists in the world, Tucker Max took the “Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test” and scored 33 out of 36, which is extremely high.

I took the test and scored 31. FML. Despite my blog name, I honestly didn’t think I was a text-book narcissist but now I’m not so sure.

# – Mind reading?

I have to admit, it’s a little silly to relate mind-reading to narcissism directly, but the other possible explanations for high score in mind reading capabilities are either psychopathy or Machiavellianism. So, am still screwed!

Can you guys take the mind reading test and tell me how much you score? Maybe 31 is not really that high lah and I’m just freaking myself out.