Brush with a road bully.

Around 5pm, I decided to go to gym. On the way there, this fucker recklessly cut into my lane. Since my car’s honk is wonked, I decided to give him the finger. He saw. He made emergency brakes, trying to lure me into rear-ending him. Since I drive pretty well (what with genetic makeup of a former rally driver), I outwitted him. However, this ass of a fucker refused to budge. Instead, he decided to tail me to my destination. For what reason, I don’t know.

Anyway, the fucker managed to tail me to my gym. I was planning to drive into the yard of some car dealer friend of my dad’s hoping those gangsta peeps could whip him (and his ugly passenger) into a pulp. But then I must be a little panicked, I drove pass it, hence losing my opportunity. I circled the building where my gym is for two times and by then he was still behind me, I decided to dial 999. After about 2 mins of irrelevant talk, I finally got to talk to somebody who was in charge. He asked me to stay calm and kept driving. I gave him the fucker’s plate number. I told him I was going to drive to the nearest police station then I hung up.

By the 3rd circle, the fucker was already gone. But I still didn’t want to go to my gym or home, fearing he might whack me or worse, rape/kill me. Cop called me again and asked me to go to some petrol station nearby. I went there, waited a while then I saw the patrol car. I can’t believe I’d say this, but the cops were very nice to me. Even when I told them the blatant truth that I gave the fucker a finger. After jotting down my account of the incident, they escorted me back to my gym and waved me goodbye.

The adrenaline rush got me going. I worked out for 2 hours without a huff.

Btw, I hope the cops find out who the arseholes are and make them pay a couple of thousands to avoid being pressed charges. That’d be sweet…..for spooking me out.

Brush with a road bully.

Around 5pm, I decided to go to gym. On the way there, this fucker recklessly cut into my lane. Since my car’s honk is wonked, I decided to give him the finger. He saw. He made emergency brakes, trying to lure me into rear-ending him. Since I drive pretty well (what with genetic makeup of a former rally driver), I outwitted him. However, this ass of a fucker refused to budge. Instead, he decided to tail me to my destination. For what reason, I don’t know.

Anyway, the fucker managed to tail me to my gym. I was planning to drive into the yard of some car dealer friend of my dad’s hoping those gangsta peeps could whip him (and his ugly passenger) into a pulp. But then I must be a little panicked, I drove pass it, hence losing my opportunity. I circled the building where my gym is for two times and by then he was still behind me, I decided to dial 999. After about 2 mins of irrelevant talk, I finally got to talk to somebody who was in charge. He asked me to stay calm and kept driving. I gave him the fucker’s plate number. I told him I was going to drive to the nearest police station then I hung up.

By the 3rd circle, the fucker was already gone. But I still didn’t want to go to my gym or home, fearing he might whack me or worse, rape/kill me. Cop called me again and asked me to go to some petrol station nearby. I went there, waited a while then I saw the patrol car. I can’t believe I’d say this, but the cops were very nice to me. Even when I told them the blatant truth that I gave the fucker a finger. After jotting down my account of the incident, they escorted me back to my gym and waved me goodbye.

The adrenaline rush got me going. I worked out for 2 hours without a huff.

Making the best out of it.

Those people who installed toiletry cabinet above the toilet bowl must be the stupidest, most insensitive dimwits ever. Have they ever considered what kind of inconvenience it causes? Let me give you some examples.

Scenario 1

1. You woke up. Unbelievably groggy from last night’s supper.
2. You took a pee. Sometimes a dump.
3. You reached for your toothbrush in the cabinet.
4. Your clumsy hand knocked your tongue scraper.
5. It fell into the toilet bowl.
6. Read: I didn’t flush.

Scenario 2

1. You peed. Sometimes a dump.
1. You’re happily showering.
2. You reached for your shower cream.
3. Shower cream knocked the loofah.
4. It fell into the toilet bowl.
5. Loofah soaked it all in.
6. Read: I didn’t flush.

Solutions

You could salvage the situation and your pride by say, wash your tongue scraper with 3 different kinds of cleaning agents + a good 10 minutes of blowdrying or till before the plastic melts. Next, give yourself an instant amnesia (permanent too) and scrap your tongue like a good girl.

On the other hand, carefully rinse the contaminated loofah and exchange it with your brother’s. Then again, who knows what he has done with his. So really, it’s a gamble. But, then again, what you don’t know doesn’t kill you.

I’m sure by now some of you might ask why not just purchase new tongue scraper and loofah? Well, it has to do with some laziness and a whole lot of hokkien sensibility.