Men will be boys.

My boyfriend has a weekly routine of playing badminton with his buddies. I don’t really fancy that because I’m just clingy & psychotic like that. So I always try to get him out of it, feigning tonnes of excuses to get him to spend time with me instead of his racquet and the shuddercock. Most times he accommodates but sometimes he blew me off.

These couple of weeks though, he’s been really good, spending all his time with me instead of hitting the court. I’ve been very pleased and thought he had finally come to his senses on how a majorly enjoyable company I am and how he loves me so much that he wants to spend every waking minute with me. I of course, took care not to ask him why he hadn’t been playing badminton lest it reminded him of how much he enjoys the game and decided to go back to leaving me alone for two hours and then coming home in perspiration soaked clothes that stink up the apartment.

Today, while on the way to dinner, he suddenly mentioned that he hadn’t been playing badminton for so long and he misses it. As the understanding girlfriend, of course I was forced to ask him in the most tender way, “How come you haven’t been playing, babber?”

“Cause I want to spend time with you lor”. My heart star burst into a million rays of pure love. Safe to say, I was in a great mood despite my tiring day at work.

A while later, we chatted about Charlie, our canine son. How his smell permeated his new car and all and how useful the car seat covers for pets are. I wholeheartedly agreed with him…..till he said, “Yeah, I’m planning to buy one for the driver’s seat too so that my sweat won’t get absorbed into it”.

F.M.L.

My boyfriend is infuriating

Ok, so forgetting to inform me that he’d be late from work because he had sent his car to workshop is one thing. But geezus effing fries, misplacing his things and then keep asking me where they are just drives me stark raving mad. Especially after I had already been stuck in a jam for two hours to fetch him for dinner (car in workshop, remember) and my right knee felt like it’s about to fall off my thigh.

“Babber, where’s the garmin charger?”

“Babber, where’s the nikon charger?”

“Babber, where’s the ds lite charger?

“Babber, I looked EVERYWHERE! I can’t find it. Where did you put it?”

OIIIIIII. Why you asked me where I put it? Why would I misplace your things for fun hah?

“Babber, why are so you mad?? It’s just a question. I’m not accusing you….”

/huffing & puffing

“Babber, why are you looking so crazy? I didn’t even raise my voice what?”

Maybe they’re still in the suitcase…

“Babbber! You unpacked the suitcase, you should take it out and look for the chargers lor”

WTF WHY IS IT MY PROBLEM NOW????

“You said it’s in the suitcase what. So you must have misplaced them”

I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER HOW THEY LOOK LIKE WHAT THE FUCK???

“Look for them lor…you must have misplaced mah”

ARGHHHH

So ok I looked for it. Garmin charger was found hidden between the sofa cushions. And nikon charger, guess what? He didn’t even took it anywhere in the first place, it was just under the cabinet. Look EVERYWHERE huh???

And the DS lite charger was right where it’s supposed to be.

Why are men so infuriating???

MFEO and testicular connections.

It will be officially 3 years in a month’s time. Sometimes I wonder how we could stand each other for 3 whole years considering we see each other almost everyday, do everything together almost all the time but yet still manage to miss each other while at work.

Today is one of those days that I do know why. We were having steamboat for dinner. It was drizzling most of the day and nothing beats steaming soup with assorted goodies to warm up the belly on a cold, damp night.

Yummy.
Yummy.

On the way back, we had a bit of a bickering and then we made up and we started to shower each other with compliments and talked about how great a couple we are.

Me: We’re MFEO* like dick to an asshole. I’m the dick and you’re the asshole.

Him: No, we’re MFEO like testicles. I’m the big fertile ball and you’re the one with blanks that keeps me company.

And then we laughed, hugged and kissed.

I mean seriously, where on earth can I find another man with that sick sort of humour?

*refers to MFEO (made for each other), the song by Kavana…a one hit wonder back in the late 90s.